Unraveling Anxiety: Questions to ask Yourself for Relief
If you’re here, I’ll make the assumption that you at least from time to time find yourself trapped in a web of anxious thoughts. Getting caught up in unpleasant ruminating thoughts is frustrating at best, and can quickly become deeply distressing. Socratic questioning, a powerful Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (CBT) skill, can help untangle the threads of distressing thoughts. Let's explore this method using a practical example to gain perspective on a common anxiety-provoking scenario.
One exercise that I love completing with clients includes examining a distressing thought through a set of questions. First, we identify the thought to examine. For example, imagine tending to assume that your friends are upset with you. In the scenario below, your friend, Jane, has responded to a text that you sent her with a thumbs-up emoji and nothing else, and now you assume she is upset. Now, let's apply the Socratic method to examine this thought.
Evidence For the Thought:
Example: Jane only responded to my text with a thumbs up and now I think she’s angry or annoyed with me.
Evidence Against the Thought:
Example: Jane might be busy with her child, job, or other activity. She's usually more responsive, and she's my friend by choice. People don’t typically waste time on people they don’t like.
Fact or Feeling:
Example: Probably feelings...
Black and White or Complex Reality:
Example: Yes, the thought is rather black and white when reality is more complicated.
Misinterpreting Evidence or Making Assumptions:
Example: Yes, there's a possibility of misinterpretation.
Other Interpretations:
Example: Someone else might assume Jane is busy but that she wanted to ensure you knew she saw my message. Maybe she saw the message and meant to respond later then forgot…I tend to do that and it doesn’t mean I’m annoyed.
Looking at All Evidence or Just What Supports the Thought:
Example: I have the habit of jumping to conclusions and a tendency to focus on evidence supporting negative thoughts. I might have become caught up in the story I’ve been telling myself.
Of course, there are plenty of times when distressing thoughts might be true, so there are limitations to this exercise, and it is meant to be completed with your therapist rather than alone. These questions can be helpful when we ruminate on things that might especially be different than we realize. In sessions with clients, this exercise tends to be accompanied by conversation and curiosity surrounding the thought, it’s origin, and how to break the cycle.
The Socratic questioning journey helps us realize the complexity of our thoughts. Are we trying to confirm a story that might not be true? What other stories might be true? It's a reminder to take a breath and create space between you and distressing thoughts.
If you find yourself caught in negative thought cycles, let's break them together. Reach out for support, and let's explore strategies to untangle anxious thoughts and pave the way for a healthier mindset. I currently see clients in my office in downtown Decatur, Georgia, serving the greater Atlanta area. Anxiety is often highly treatable and there is so much hope for you!
Reach out today to start disrupting your patterns of anxiety. This is an LGBTQ+ affirming and anti-racist space. Click here to visit my contact page to book a free 15-minute consult to see if we might be a good fit to work together.
